Why is it so hard to come up with a headline

Work
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This is going ok, today was a pretty decent day.  Our regular office staff was not there, nurse and front desk chick were not there.  It was actually kind of nice, because even when things got a little crazy every one was still workable so that helped kind of keep a lid on the crazy.

School
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- I need to check to see if the Spring schedule is up at the community college.

- did some work on the research paper ( some busy work mostly)

The plan
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Still have not registered for the MCAT.  My paycheck goes SUPER fast, so I am just going to have to bite the bullet and spend the money on the next check, I think my last day to register is like early next month.  

I went to a Physician Assistant info session today.  It was mostly what is available online, they have an open house in November I singed up for.  I am going to seriously consider that as an options.

I had a friend look at my personal statement.  She gave me some good input.  I tried to work on it, but I think I got a little intimidated.  I am really struggling with the show vs. tell of the paper.

I did a high level replan..
1. register for MCAT ( October 4th)
2. Submit Med school apps ( 2 - 3 schools)
3. Intense MCAT study 3 hours a day MCAT section test (M-F) , full length test Sat & Sunday
4. MCAT  November 7th
5. Register for A&P 1 & Pre-cal  - December
6. Pick up some GRE books from Half-Price
7. Start/develop GRE plan (before Spring semester starts)
8. Take A&P II & Calculus- Summer
9. Take GRE - Summer
10.  Apply for Fall graduation at UTA
11. Start PA application April
12. Submit PA application ( NLT May 15)

Next is to work on my detailed MCAT Study plan.  I think I am going to just take a full length and see where my lowest grades are and focus on those areas first.

My kid
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she was doing so well, but she has returned to her old ways, and failing to turn in work and making crappy grades on quizes.
She just got her replacement phone after being without one for almost a year.  But I took all electronics tonight so once again I am back to paying money for nothing, I also took away her new shoes.  And I told her if she brings home another F she looses her solo on the competition team this year.  I am over this BS. 

Very disappointed with her right now, and its just a level of stress that I was hoping not to have to deal with.


Life
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not where I want to be. I have basically gone down to working out once a month.  Its so crazy its almost like an outer body experience.  I wake up at 5, think about how fat and gross I am, then lay back down thinking how much of a looser I am for not going to work out.
I have issues.. I know..  I think I am afraid of success, or so scared of failing I quit before I get close.  I was doing amazing during the summer, but I let life and stress slow me down, and now my scrubs are getting tight!!!.   ARGHHHHH

The struggle is real...

So I am going to do my best to not ramble on but stick to the script....  Le go..

school..
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- Not a lot here.. did not sign up for any classes.
- I still need to email PA school to see if those online AP classes are acceptable.
- The lady from the NP program I talked to calls me once a week to see if i have registered for one of the online classes she recommended...   I think I can probably at least sign up for the nutrition class it should transfer anywhere..
- I have been doing work on that research project, moving slower than expected, but I met with that grad student last weekend and forced him to actually answer some dang questions...


work...
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Scribe job.... today was ruff..    I am trying my best to hang on there.  I am getting better at the job, but sometimes its hard to see the silver lining.  They also just started a new policy were you have to get approval and fill out some stupid form and FAX it if you clock in/out 7 mins before or after your set schedule...  Who in the H E double hockey sticks thought this crap up..   Its a freaking clinic  so anytime the doc wants to start early or clinic runs late I have to send an email AND fax a dang form.   So far the policy has been in effect since 8/18/14 ( ~ 15 days)  I have had 7 instances where I had to request approval.  And if you have 5 or more occurrences without approval. you get fired...

anyway so thats that...

the second job at the studio is going ok...

my 3rd job is basically standard issue.. Its not much but that change really helps me get through the 2 week pay cycle.  My first check was basically spent the day it hit the bank.   My second check is going to be just as bad.  My kid has about 300 bucks of dance stuff that she is required to have by next week...

anywhoo.. enough of that

the plan...
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So I still don't know if I will apply to the 2 schools.  Its mainly a money issue right now.  At a minimum it would be around 250 to do the two schools.   I also have NO personal statement complete.  And after October its probably a waste of money to apply.

I think I am going to have to put off registering for the MCAT until my 3rd paycheck on the 20th or something.  I still have not began to even considering studying for that.

I still need to look into voluneering at some point.  I have gone almost a year without some volunteer work.  I just don't know when I will have the time.  I am already signed up for some parent volunteer work at my kids school.  Too bad that does not count...

the kid
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she is doing pretty good so far.
She made the dance company at her school
she is auditioning a couple of numbers she choreographed for the student chreography show hope she makes that.
Competitive dance is back in full swing.  and she is a teacher assitant this year.  she she has a busy schedule...

my life
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my work outs have dropped to basically non-existent since school started.  And I know it is affecting my mood.  Its just so hard to get up @ 5am now for some reason, and I have to come back to the house to get my kid and take her back to the other side of town, then return to this side for work.  I use about 8$ in gas per day to make the 2 round trips.
But the sad part is... the gas is not my true reason.   Its all me.  Once i miss a day or two its like a domino effect.  before you know it I have not hit the gym in 2 months...
But I will get back on it.. I will not go back to my regular size scrubs.   My new pair will be an even smaller size than the ones I got in the summer...  :)

Ok.. I am going to try and go to bed so I can try and get to the gym in the morning..

It goes...

So we are back at it again. Yesterday was the first day of school...   

Updates:

School 

- not much here didn't sign up for classes didn't get paid in time. 

- got an email from that grad student asking could I have some work done on that paper.  I have tried to put in some effort but I have lost interest. The guy is not the best person to work for and I just don't feel like I know enough.  Going to force myself to actually out some stuff on paper in the next couple of days 

Work :

This is going ok. I was pretty frustrated at first but it's starting to run a bit smoother. 

- the second job at the studio is going ok also.  

- my 3rd job is also going ok. I have reduced that to just once a week for about 4-5 hours.  I couldn't get over that more than that without just running myself dry. 

I am a bit tired and know it's only going to get worse.  But such is life. 

The plan:

I have not decided if I am going to apply to 1 or 2 schools this year and hope someone feels Pitty on me. 

I think I am not going to go Np route. 

I need to email PA schools about these online courses. 

I need to pay for the MCAT on my next paycheck so I can retake it before 2014 ends.  (Also requires me to pick up some practice test and get back with it). 

Life-

Basically I am a little tired. Trying to stay faithful to the gym. Going to have to fight hard with school starting back I have to make 2 round trips to get to gym. Take daughter to school. Then drive out to work.  But it will be worth it when I am back in a size medium 😋

Been really wanting to look into daiting. Not sure when I will have time but I would like to meet some new friends and hopefully move into a relationship.  I think that will help with my stress level just having some fun for myself every now and again.  

My kid :

So far so good.  She had auditions for school company on Friday and she has choreographed 2 numbers for her student choreography show. They audition for that in September.  And competition dance starts back next week so she is pretty busy herself.  I am hoping  for a smooth year with minimal drama. 

Ok. Off to work.  

Focus

First I want to say thank you to all those who had encouraging words for me through out my personal confusion... I appreciate it!


Ok...  So I need to focus up and put my updated plan in place. 

Where am I now.

School
 
There is not a lot going on here,   I still need to find a way to get in A&P I -II to keep my PA/NP route open.   I was informed of a online option that offers labs, but I need to email some PA schools to see if they are accepted.

Also.. I had basically stopped working on that research project, until I get an email on Monday asking me if I could have some work done by this Saturday.   Unfortunatly I have not been able to work on it and today is Friday.  With work at the Dr. Office & a couple days at the studio and my cleaning job I have just been exhausted and not very motivated.

I tried to start looking at some articles today only to find out my school library access is not working, so I have to depend on journals and articles that are open source.

Looks like this is going to consume my entire Saturday :(

Work

It has been a bit ruff.  The training program was a bit not existent, and the office that I am going to be working in has a bit of drama going on prior to my arrival.  I have already had 3 meetings with managers about this.   So the persnickty-ness of the doctor and the drama with the nurse along with the stress of trying to learn this new approach in a busy office environment is pretty stresfull.  
And then having to wait 3 weeks for a pay check with school starting and dance starting is driving a bit cray cray...
But I will move forward... this too shall pass



Life
Not a lot going on here.  I have been getting in at least 3-4 workouts per week ( 5;30 am) in so I am very proud of that.  I am hoping I can maintain that when school starts.



Rugrat
she is doing good... I think she is ready for school and dance to start back up, she has been stuck at the house for a while...

she is out to a movie tonight while I am at starbucks... 
her friends mom...  is a Lawyer who also had a career change and she was telling me her story, so that was pretty encouraging...

speaking of which I need to leave to go pick her up..

more later..

So about that...

Well as I sit outside the building during the break of my scribe job orientation I thought I should drop a quick update. 

Not a lot of time so I will keep it short. 

I'm. Not giving up.

Got the scribe job

Got a job working at my daughters studio

Still doing my cleaning job 

Going to retake MCAT

And going to take GRE 

Going to take AP I & II

Then going to apply to PA, med school, and NP programs.

Putting off apps till next year to get the scribe exp on resume and take the AP and retake of MCAT.  

It's going to work out somehow 

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