Monday Morning Quarterback

So Friday was my MCAT...

I am so astoundingly happy that it is over. I think I turned into a different person when I walked out of that building.

I wish I could say that I rocked the crap out of that test.  However that would be a total lie. 

The first section kicked my butt.  I think midway through I just felt like I was picking answers at random.

The second section Verbal or whatever that is called now.  I felt really good about.  I felt like I followed the passages well and picked the answer that seem to be most relevent.

Third Section Bio stuff was not nearly as bad as the first section, but I did not feel as confident in all of my responses as I did in section two.

Forth section Psychology/sociology was not as good as the 3rd, but not as bad as the first.   I did not spend as much time going through all the psychology info.  There was just so much and I just didn't have the time. Actually I did not make the time.    But what I did go through really helped. 

Overall I should have spent more time on chemistry structures and formulas.  But I think I I fell into the trap of focusing on what I was grasping instead of breaking down what was giving me problems.

I think I signed some kind of agreement that I would not say what was on the test since it was the first adminstration or something to that fact.  

But I think I can say that Khan Academy MCAT link that I posted before was very accurate and a good representation of what was on the test.

On a few other notes..

It looks like my St. George app can still be processed without my Passport for now. 

Also we are at dance competition this weekend and my Baby Girl Killed it!!!  It was the best I have seen her do her solo sofar.

Platinum
6th Overall
Summer Intensive Scholarship Winner
and Judges Choice Choreography Award

super proud of her, even though she drives me frickin Cray Cray...  We still have the rest of the weekend left and I have A&P homework and study to do.   But I still feel 20x more free than I did 48 hours ago.


Well that's plenty for today.  I should probably finish up my vacation from critical thinking and get to this A&P  I have an A to maintain.  :)

It's been a while.

So it's be a bit since I posted.

For a few reasons but mostly because I did not really have any good/exciting/progressive news to report.  However the point of this blog is to document my journey and of course that includes the good and the bad, unfortunately the bad seems to outweigh the good these days. 

Anywho... Updates. 

School. 

This is pretty standard. Still in A&P so far still maintaining about a 96 average.  I got a random email from the grad student I was working with and he ask if I would do a couple things for the research paper.  I had assumed they have finished up and moved on.  So I got that done.  

Work. 

It's ok.  Scribing tends to get redundant. The relationships are better 

The Plan

- so I got my St George application basically complete I just can't find my  passport, which is required as part of my application.  And speaking of Passports I will need to get one from my daughter if I go the Carb route, but it's extremely complicated to get one without  both parents present. So that's an additional pile of poop to deal with. 

- MCAT

So that's in like 3 days. And I have not really done much in the way of preparing. It's just sad. That has me thinking maybe it's best to go away to go to school. I won't have the outside conflicts that I have now.  I just think trying to work all these jobs for peanuts and trying to keep Jordyn active and do my part at her school is just really not working out so well.  But what can you do. 

Not much else has gone toward the plan I will consider GRE planning after I finish with MCAT on Friday.  I will look at A&P 2 schedule also after Friday. 

Was thinking about just skipping GRE and only applying to schools that don't require it, but I will end up limiting myself. 

Life. 

This is still pretty stressful. Still at my moms.  Everyone is ready for that situation to change.  My mom and daughter are not getting along and unfortunately I don't know how to fix it. 

This is one of the big stressors and one of those things that make you say the best/only way to fix it is to just hold off on the original end goal for right now.  

So overall not a lot of forward movement. I will just keep slowly rolling along until something happens one way or the other.  

I did pray and ask for some clarity some direction.  Unfortunately there may be some radio silence on one end or the other.  Unless this feeling of just wanting to say "screw it" is the "direction" I am supposed to be moving in.   To be honest if I got a call tomorrow for a job out of state that paid well I would probably take it.  Just kind of start all over. And maybe that's my sign.     

Blank Stare

So I submitted an application to St. George University ( Caribian Medical School) a couple of nights ago.   I am not 100% sure I am going have my transcripts and MCAT sent.   I have signed up for an information session in April.

It is one of the Big 3 Carb schools. Its also the most expensive.  But they have accreditation in California and New York, meaning I can do rotations and residencies in more states than a school that does not have the accreditation.

The biggest concern with the international school is what I am going to do with my Kid.  If I did not have that concern, I don't think I would have any problem heading out there in august to make all this come together and get it done.

I honestly do not know that I can get through another year of this inbetween state.

another random conversation.


Last night I go to dinner with a friend. See one of my old HR Leads from my previous career, and she is like send me your resume we have a lot of opportunities.   My friend is like.  That is a sign !

And of course my mind goes crazy.  Like is it? Should I? Can I make it work?  I immediately go into I get the job, move into a small place, clean up my budgets, pay of debt, and be in a nice house by the time Jordyn gets ready for High School, I can pay for her car, have resources to get through the high school years,  and then send her off to college, take some vacations, and ride out the rest of life.  (same internal struggle I have with myself every 6 months)


THEN...
today I go to the library after I drop J off at a friends (super cute house), and I am giving her like 20$ for snack or food after the movie, and like give me back what you don't spend.  And the friends mom is going to have to drop her off at home later, because I have to do a baby sitting job to make some extra money...  And on the way out of the historic neighborhood (which I love) I see a house for sale, that is a bit smaller than the others, but something I could have totally made super awesome if I would have stayed where I was 2 years ago.
---- don't get me wrong, I know this is all superficial things and it does not matter what everyone has, and if I wanted to be a Dr bad enough I need to sacrifice.  ALL this stuff that I know, but does not make things easier. ---

But I digress....  My point.  I stopped by the library after I drop Jordyn off to finish up some A&P work.

And I come to this library that I have never been before, just the closest Google showed from J's friends house.

I sit down and start working, and an older gentleman comes and ask if he could sit at the table. And of course I say yes.

He then proceeds to have a 20 minute conversation with me.
He is a former doctor, who is from Peru and went to undergard in the states, but could not get into a medical school here at the time and ended up doing a school in Mexico.   He was telling me all things are possible, if you really want them.  And I could be a Dr.  And how life success is more about what you say "no"to, just as much as what you say "yes" to.

He was like you just need a mentor and someone to help. 

I do not know if that means anything.   As I have stated before things just work out crazy for me. 

One thing will happen that makes me think I should move one way  and then something else will happen that makes me think I should move another way.

Its draining.  I wish I could just move to a different place and just focus on making it work. 

well... I just felt like jotting down these crazy things that run through my head.

Library closes in 30 mins.  I really need to get this HW finished.

random jotting

so i took a week off during my daughter's spring break, and because my doc was off this week.

My plan was to study and work out.

My reality is nothing has happened and its almost the end of the day on Wednesday.

I should have taken off a day where my daughter had school.  So i would be forced to leave the house to take her and I can just go to the gym and then to the library. 

anywho... needless to say I am a bit disappointed in myself.


I did spent some time thinking about Caribbean medical school option again.

I decided to go check out the foreign med school board to look in on residency stats.

Here is the link if you interested in perusing the 250+ pages...

http://www.ecfmg.org/resources/NRMP-ECFMG-Charting-Outcomes-in-the-Match-International-Medical-Graduates-2014.pdf

basically from my quick perusal.

If you
- make above a 240 on step 1 and step 2 the first time
- apply to multiple programs (>10) in the specialty you are interested
- train on Dominica island ( i think Ross & St George are there)
- go after Family Practice, internal medicine, OB/GYN, or anesthesiology

from a VERY loose estimate, you have a greater than 70% chance of getting into A residency program.

*** if anyone happens to be reading this, please refer to the link above for a more in depth assessment on the probability of gaining a particular residency as a US-IMG.  This is just a rough eyeball....

I am still strongly consigning applying.  If it were not for my daughter. I would have applied already.  But I feel if I take with me, either she will suffer or my studying will suffer.

Arggggg.... 

So when are you finished with school?

OMG... so I know I have posted about this before...

But that question drives me crazy... and I know that the people who ask for the most part mean no harm.  But to a stressed out non-traditional who has been at this for a while it has to be one of the most frustrating questions...


Anywho,

not much new on this end.  Work is still work. 

We have AP I practical tomorrow, been trying to study for that. 

Then we have Test 2 in lecture on Wednesday so gotta get all studied up on that.

I have taken off for Spring Break to hopefully just focus on MCAT study.  I have done some but not nearly enough.

ok. back to it.