Busy Week...

So there has been a lot going on this week.  Just have felt like there has not been enough time in the day to get it all in.


School -

So we had a midterm yesterday...  I got 71 out of 75 pts. so that was pretty good.    I am also enjoying the material

Not sure if I already wrote about this, but for some reason I thought I only had approval from my advisor to enroll for summer classes.   Well a couple of weeks ago I decided just to go check out classes and I was able to register.  Unfortunately all the classes I wanted were full.   I was barley able to get 12 hours of classes that counted toward my degree.    I couldn't get into Immunobiology or Genomics like I wanted to, but I did get this once class  Health Psychology which seems like a pretty cool class and a good topic to help with med school interviews. It seems to cover a lot of current topics in health care.  And I am interested in learning more about the social aspect of where we will be going with health care nationally and globally in the future.


Work -

Actually didn't have any shifts for the first part of the week, however we did get next month's schedule today and I was kind of P.O.'d.  It looks like even though I submitted my schedule of 10:30a - 12:30p class M-Th, they have given me all 6p-4a or 9p-7a shifts... during the weekdays.    That is so frustrating.  And its not like I can walk down the hall to talk to someone about it.   I have no idea who schedules these shifts, we submit our availability on the web, and then they spit out a schedule 2 weeks later.

Also I don't think I am working with any docs I have worked with before, so once again its almost like starting all over...

And then we get an email today, giving us this list of things we should/should not do in charts, but a lot of the docs I have worked with want the opposite.   So its a bit frustrating.   I wish they would assign a few scribes to a few doctors, that way we can become familiar and better anticipate individual flow and preferences.

The way its set up now, you have to almost work there a year before you really get a chance to understand and learn everyone's ways.   Out of 400+ hours of scribing, I still have not worked with all of the 30+ doctors, and have only worked with a small number of them more than 3 times.

It also seems like the docs I work REALLY well with and who say the like working with me, I hardly every get to work with.

I'm still hoping things will get better with time. 

"The Plan"
So far on track, even though the fall schedule is not my ideal, all the classes count toward the degree plan

I need to keep my eye out for the community college for the fall schedule, I need to sign up for pre-calculus.

Have not really done anything toward the MCAT.  I need to set aside some time to think about this.  

Called the local med school about the 1 year MS Biomedical science post back program that I had applied for a couple years ago, to do an application review.  I had to leave a message, need to remember to call them back to see if I can get an appointment.

Still need to find sometime to get back into volunteering, I think I may try the food bank for the summer, I want my little one to start regularly volunteering also.

My Rug rat -

So my little one has been a big contribution to the busy week.  She had finals Monday and Tuesday so we spent a lot of time studying for that, and she has had 4 nights of dress rehearsal and recital, Luckily my mom is able to get her there, and then I head there after class. 

Tonight at recital she got to meet and take a picture with a Disney star from "Shake it up ". I have no idea who she is, but every one was happy to see her.

Also tomorrow is her last day of school.  Then we head into a busy summer with  banquet on Saturday, national rehearsals, Florida nationals in 1 week, dance camps, tumbling, and summer reading list.


Life -
Don't have a lot of time for this,  I did very well at working out earlier this week, but skipped today,  I was so tired after recital last night I just needed a couple extra hours of rest, before I had to get up and do it again.   But  I will start back tomorrow, especially after my running distance accomplishment on Wednesday.  I am hoping to triple that by my birthday. :)

My house is a mess, and laundry is piling up.  I am going to have to get some cleaning in there somewhere. The dance area I just built is now pilled with toys and "stuff" J has outgrown, I need to get that taken care of so she can actually use it for what it is for.

Hmm... anything else I need to jot down...  I think that's all I can think of, now I need to go to bed, because I return to work tomorrow.  :(

Day 2 done...

I originally planed to make this note on Friday, since it would be the end of the first week of class, but I got a lot of crap to do tomorrow, and this may not get done if I wait.   And goodness knows it does not take long for details to leave my brain.


School
So got through first two days of my 4 hour Evolution and Ecology class, I didn't even fall asleep after working my 6p-4a shift .  (thank you red bull)  :)

Also the teacher does a pretty good job of mixing up lecture, videos, and class participation.

It's also a pretty interesting topics. Today there was a bit of material about how Darwin and a couple of other scientist reconciled their religious beliefs with their scientific education.  This has always been an interesting topic, growing up southern Baptist, basically every thing was "Gods Plan" if something good happens "God is blessing you"  if something bad happens "Its God's will".  Man started as dust, and women came from his rib.  It can sometimes be a challenge to learn more and still maintain the blind faith, I am always trying to find my balance.

I even joined a study group, which unfortunately since this is a 2 week course they plan to meet every day, so I have to cut an extra couple of hours from my sleep time  (boo)...  BUT I was able to get a trade for one of my shifts, so I only have to work a couple more weekday shifts during the next two weeks, the others are on the weekend.

Next week is going to be a bit cray cray...  J gets out at noon every day, which means I am going to have to hall tail to get to class on time and she has recital Monday-Thursday EVERY night starting at 5, which means I will have to hall tail back to get there in time for custom change. Thankfully mom is going to drop her off for me.   We also have 1 of our 2 major test on Wed so I am definitely going to have to utilize the study group, don't see a lot happening during the evening.

Work

Ughh.. so this is a major rollercoaster as always.  Last couple of shifts were stressful.  My next couple of shifts are with docs I have worked well with before, so I hope they go well.

I don't think I am going to apply for any more on-campus jobs until Fall starts, I think it will be too much to try and do that in the summer and try and get these grades.

Got to seem something cool yesterday at work, so in Texas we had some bad tornadoes yesterday and there were multiple casualties and injuries.   Well apparently the Metroplex just commissioned themselves the first Med bus in the area.  Its basically an ambulance the size of a greyhound bus that can transport anywhere from 17 - 21 patients. It was pretty darn neat.

The Plan

Still plan to call the post back program to get a application review, see what I need to do to possibly improve my chances of getting accepted into the program, if I decide to go that route

Trying to do a few things to really take a look at the PA route, not that I want to do it, but that if I decide I definitely do not want to do it , I want to say I really looked into and gave it a fair shot.

I shadowed a nurse practitioner at work for a couple visits,  even though that's not really an option for me, I just wanted to see how she works.   I also have had a few trauma experiences with some trauma service and surgical PAs at the hospital.   So far the PEX and HPI portion they seem to be similar as docs.   I think the true difference is the way the process that information, and what decisions they get to make and task they get to do.  

I usually only see those guys during traumas so I don't really get to ask them questions.  Also they don't usually have a face that says , sure "come talk to me"

My Rug Rat

Unfortunately she does not really poses the academic drive that I hope she would as far as expecting high grades for herself.  She kind of wants to just get through.

She is driving me cray cray  its finals time, and I feel like I have to pull fingernails to get her to work hard and really do a comprehensive study plan.  I know this is all new to her but its still so frustrating because I will not do it for her, she has to make that choice.

Also we still have not finalized the school thing for next year.  I turned in our intent to leave from her current school and the director called me and encouraged me to reconsider.

I really love the school, and I know it offers so many opportunities she may not have access to at other schools.

Last week, I was so proud of her, she had talent day where she choreographed a routine for her and a friend.   And on that same day she opened the Recognition ceremony with her own choreographed number and participated in several other group numbers to which she also contributed to creatively.

She has really grown so much in that area, and I am sure spending more time doing dance has impacted her available time to put in 110% in academics.  She did make honor roll the first 2 quarters, but did not in the last.    I am kind of torn on the issue.  Of coarse I want her to make the most of her academic education and make the grades.   But she is also very good at dance, and if she would just stop being so lazy and trying to take the easy way out, she could do both very well.  

When I stay on her about her homework, organization, studying for quizzes, studying for test she maintains A's.  But when I try and let her take the wheel she falls off.    I have seen a major shift when my schedule changed and I was not at home much in the evenings.  My mom doesn't stay on her like I do.   That really makes me feel like I am failing her as a parent.  But in the same breath she has got to be more responsible and start making smart choices on her own.

When I was young I don't remember my mom EVER looking at my work, or helping me study, or checking my grades.   She looked at the report card every week and if I had my As and Bs she as good.

I told her that if she makes more than 1 C or anything below that this year, she will not be dancing next year.  I hate to take it away, but she has to recognize that dance is a privilege and "extra" curricular. 

If I have to enforce that it is really going to suck, because I have already paid for multiple classes during the summer for dance, and dance camp. So I really hope she can get her crap together.  

She basically only has finals left which is her last opportunity to make the grade.  She is not failing anything now, but if she gets low final scores, it will  get her close to having C's if not a D or 2.   It would really break my heart to take it away from her.   But she has to learn sometime.

ok enough about that...

Life
Nothing here really, not a lot of time for too much.  However I did go to see Iron Man 3 it was AWESOME.   Also went to see Pain and Gain, that was a very interesting movie.

I have fallen off Gym attendance this week,  I wanted to get an extra few hours of sleep, and on days that I don't drop off at school, I really have a hard time making myself go.   I am my own worst enemy. 

I plan on going tomorrow, especially since I have to drop off.

Wow,  I have really just let loose today...

Guess I better go to bed, so I can get up and go to gym, make it to study group, and not fall asleep in class.  
We also have to go get banquet dress tomorrow.   I sure miss having my weekends.   But it will all be worth it in a few years. :)

Class Tomorrow.

So class starts tomorrow and the. I go to go to work from 6pm-4am.   

I should really be trying to go to sleep instead of watching Wipeout.  Lol

Pre-teens

I don't think I am going to make it through the teen years.  My lil preteen is really stretching my patience and tolerance and she is only eleven.  I'm pretty sure you should not feel like drop kicking your child 4 out of 7 days of the week.   

We have to find some midway or compromise because someone is not going to make it if we continue on this path.  

On a side note.  

Work was a bit frustrating last night.  Worked with a doc with a very high level of Entropy, which I have found the level of Entropy is directly proportional to the success of the shift.  

So I really need to find the better way to manage myself in those scenarios to ensure my work quality remains consistent and the docs are getting what they need from me. 

Also on the school note I start on Wednesday .   Hoping it goes well.  My rug rat gets out at noon for the whole last week of school aka the last week of my class also.   My challenge is my class starts at 1pm and its about 30 mins away and that does not count finding time to park and getting to class, and on top of that she has recital and dress rehearsal 4 days that same week where she has to be there by 5:00 and I don't get out of class until 4:45

Now in the grand scheme of things it's not really a humongous issue, I will just have to find a way to make this work. 

Last but and probably least.  I am sitting outside of the Gym making a blog entry. WTH is wrong with me.  I don't think I used to hate going to the gym so much.   But I would so rather be sleep or doing AnYthing else but be here.   Ugh!  

Ok. I am going in before I drive off.  Lol. 

Maybe one day I will look back on think, you silly girl, working out is awesome and I couldn't see myself living without it.  Lol.  

In my Ice Cube Voice

Today was a good day.  

I just had to document I had a great shift at work today.  And I worked with a moderately faced pace doc.  But he was consistent  and clear on what he wanted which I do very well with.  He told one doc I was going to be his scribe for the rest of his life,   Lol now while that is not really a good thing for me, I did appreciate the compliment.  :)

Went to see a musical with my rugrat and a bunch of her dance studio tonight. It was nice. I kind of dozed off a bit since I had been up since 4:30 am.  But from what I did catch it want too bad. 

Now I am going to go catch up with a friend for a few minutes. 

Hopefully tomorrow will be just as nice. 

Even though I do work with a wild one tomorrow.   I guess we shall see.  

Roller coaster

I'm only 5 months in, and I have already had my share of up and downs...

Had a ruff day at work last night, It was one of those days where I wanted to be like.  Forget it!!! I'm going home..  Coincidently it was the one doctor I worked with earlier in my training shifts that had me thinking I couldn't do it  the first time, but I made it throug...

What's crazy is he is not mean or rude to me or anything of the sort, its just something about his approach and style that just drives me crazy and makes me feel like a total idiot.  On top of that, I kept having horrible back spasms, don't know why, I am assuming is slept wrong, or pulled something lifting weights.

Luckily, I ran into one of my favorite doctors and she gave me a pep talk  Reminded me to not take things personal, and to develop thicker skin.  Especially since its going to be that way for the remainder of my medical training career.  I am always going to be under someone, learning something, knowing less.  I have to learn how to take it as a learning experience and growth opportunity, not a personal attack on me.

Also finally turned in the letter to J's current school to let them know we will not be returning next year.  Next thing I know the Admissions Director called me to ask me why.  Luckily I was at work and didn't have to have that conversation.   I ended up chickening out and just emailing her back.

Not really a lot to say there...

I am looking forward to school starting next week.  At least I think I am.  I must admit I am a bit nervous, this will be my first 2 week class.  I am pretty sure I am going to have to work my butt off.  But I guess I may as well get used to it.   I am also looking forward to working a couple less shifts this month, but it means I loose all my weekends.   But I will be home during the week to make sure J is studying for finals.

I was finally able to order my parking pass today,  I really wanted to get a parking garage permit, but they were 3x the price of regular parking, and I should really work harder at saving money. 

I still have not successfully curbed all my previous spending habits.

well.. I need to make myself go to sleep, got work 6am shift in the am.  :(

[Insert Awesome tittle here]

I have a few random things I  have on my mind, but not sure if they all really tie together.  So I am just going to Go Random today... :)


Thought 1:

Sometimes its really hard to explain to some friends and family how laborious and lengthy the medical school process is, especially as a post-baccalaureate.   You cant just be like,  oh I want to be a doctor, then go sign up at the local university for "doctor school" and then your Dr. So and So in 4 years.

It can get a bit frustrating at times, because you want them to understand and support you, but sometimes I feel like I come off as a d-bag when I am trying to explain it.  LOL

Ex.1  My mom who watches my daughter for me, when I have to work nights, was talking to me the other morning when I got home from work.  I was telling her about class starting next week and how my schedule will change, and all this stuff.

And she goes.   So are you going to go ahead and be a Scribe or a Doctor? 

My face O_O    WTH!!!!  I didn't even know how to respond to that...  I distinctly remember explaining this process to her before, but for some reason, she thinks I am in "Dr. School" or something I don't know... but its just... . SOB... I just want to be like, you know what.. Never mind...  We will have this conversation again in 8 years, and you can ask me if I am a doctor yet.. LOL

Ex 2.  There is this really nice janitor guy at the hospital, always says hello and is very nice.  And for some reason, ever time he sees me.  "are you a doctor yet?"   "you only got like 2 years right?"

once again O_O  I don't know how to respond, so I just laugh and say.  "not yet!"  and I know he is just being nice, and supportive.  But I have no idea how to respond to these questions and not sound like a a-hole.

Ex 3. (last example)  when people are like.  "What do you do"  
  Even in my old job this was a hard question, now its even more complicated.  So usually I say, I work at a hospital as a Scribe, going back to school to finish up a BS in Biology all so I can apply to medical school.

at this point I get varying facial expressions and responses/follow up questions. 
The hardest to answer are.

1. "So what are you going to do"
 - in my mind, I'm like, is what I just told you not enough... I DONT KNOW... first let me get up in there. LOL..
- in reality  I know everyone does not know the process, and I don't really want to go through the entire process, because in reality "Ain't nobody got time for that!"  and they really don't want to know.   So I just usually say well I am hoping to go in to Maternal Fetal Medicine.

2. "So you are going to be a nurse or something?"
- in my mind... im like WTH dude... did I say I was going to  Nursing School?!?!? ...
- in reality but once again, people really don't know the process, and I hate to say
"No, I want to be a doctor", because I feel like I am saying nursing is not good enough. LOL..  I know that's stupid, but its just how my mind works.  I usually just use the same response from #1, and le them infer from there. LOL

3. "What school are you applying to?"
- in my mind   wherever they accept me, I am ALL IN...  I have to make this happen.. LOL
- in reality -  Its not really that easy, to get into the 1 school you want when they have 20,000 applications against your 1, and they are only accepting 100 students.  But you kind of seem like prick when you try to break down the medical school statistics to a person, who has no interest in applying, they were just having a conversation with you. So I go to my standard response of  "I would ideally like to be accepted into the local med school, because I familiar with the area, we have  a decent cost of living, my lil one has family and familiarity,  and its a good affordable school".


Thought 2

I will be turning 34 in a couple months...  I am not sure how I feel about that.  I think sometimes I wish I would have been brave enough to make this decision to leave and go at this full-time back in 07. I would have been well on my way to graduating and heading into residency.   Now I am getting a little scared about my age, and being in class.  But if things go well, I will still be less than 40 when I am in residency, and people are doing AMZING challenging things at that age.

Thought 3

Would I still go down this road if I won or randomly came across 5 million dollars?
Yep, I would!  It would be super awesome, because it would be so much easier because I wouldn't have to worry about financial restrains that I have to worry about now.

Would I do it if I won 220 million dollars???   that I don't know. 


Well..  I think I have typed plenty for the day,   I was going to talk about a special project I am working on for my daughters room, but I think I will just wait until its finished and put up some progress pictures, help me to appreciate it.. :)