1. Got an A in A&P.
2. Had interview with St. George's SOM that went well.
3. I let my job know that I will be leaving by summer's end.
4. Got acceptance letter from St George today.
5. Its not for direct entry into the medical school, its for the foundation program which is Aug - Dec prep program with guaranteed entry into the January 2016 med school if you maintain a 3.5 with no Cs.
6. My daughter cried when I told her about it, (not in a good way)
7. Since it is a certificate program, it requires private loans, for which I was denied without a cosigner.
thats' it.
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Saturday, May 9, 2015
Not much new going on.
Getting ready for finals in A&P.
Still at the daytime job.
Still sitting at the crossroads of life wondering which way to go.
Have Skype interview with St. George tomorrow.
I think I mentioned before that they are offering me an interview for their one semester pre-prep program with guaranteed entry if I make a 3.5 or better.
That news kind of punched me in the gut, because it does not really bode well for my chances here in the states.
To be honest if it were not for the cost and location I would be super happy with the idea, because I have a chance to prove I can handle the workload and processing the content.
But an additional 26,000 bucks and 6 additional months in the St. George for my kid sounds hard to swallow.
I wish Mcat scores were back. It would kind of help a little bit. If I make below the mideline on either of the 4 sections (especially chemistry). I think I would just give up on med school and apply PA and/or go back to work, or take the foreign med school.
I found this post on Mothers in Medicine today...
Would I do it Again
basically this doc is finishing up surgery residence after leaving the financial industry. She loves her job and patients, but is not really sure if it was all worth it.
I don't really know what I am doing with that information now, just more stuff in my box of stuff.
I think our scenarios are a bit different because of my age, my kids age, and my family life. But still its just stuff in my stuff.
I was thinking the other day, what happened to me? Why am I entertaining these thoughts. Of course finances are the big driver in my fears, but I think not getting into that master's program last year really tore a titanic sized hole in my reslove.
Going back to working a full time job, and trying to do little tidbits to pull the pieces together for a possibility of "maybe" an acceptance is ruff. And seeing SOOOO many people have to result to an alternative, and working with Docs, who say Dont Do it... Wow...
Applications are open. And as I put in my grades from 20 years ago, and think of how people will be using them to judge me, no matter how hard I have put in work recently. Its just scary and stress full.
When I go and look at apartments that are in my budget and it takes me back to my childhood when things were really tough for my mom. Its scary and stressful.
I am ready for something good and awesome. I am ready for something that builds me up. I am ready for something that is an uplifting tangible step toward success.
I am on my very last piece of resolve. The absolute last piece. What does that mean? Where am I going? What am I doing? What am I supposed to do? What am I doing to my kid? What am I doing to myself? How are my choices altering my future? Where is my joy? Have I ever had it? Will I know what it looks/feel like when it happens? Will one choice or the other actually bring me the happiness/fulfillment that I think is actually out there. Is happiness/fulfillment/success something that is even attainable for me?
I DO NOT know and not knowing IS killing me.
Getting ready for finals in A&P.
Still at the daytime job.
Still sitting at the crossroads of life wondering which way to go.
Have Skype interview with St. George tomorrow.
I think I mentioned before that they are offering me an interview for their one semester pre-prep program with guaranteed entry if I make a 3.5 or better.
That news kind of punched me in the gut, because it does not really bode well for my chances here in the states.
To be honest if it were not for the cost and location I would be super happy with the idea, because I have a chance to prove I can handle the workload and processing the content.
But an additional 26,000 bucks and 6 additional months in the St. George for my kid sounds hard to swallow.
I wish Mcat scores were back. It would kind of help a little bit. If I make below the mideline on either of the 4 sections (especially chemistry). I think I would just give up on med school and apply PA and/or go back to work, or take the foreign med school.
I found this post on Mothers in Medicine today...
Would I do it Again
basically this doc is finishing up surgery residence after leaving the financial industry. She loves her job and patients, but is not really sure if it was all worth it.
I don't really know what I am doing with that information now, just more stuff in my box of stuff.
I think our scenarios are a bit different because of my age, my kids age, and my family life. But still its just stuff in my stuff.
I was thinking the other day, what happened to me? Why am I entertaining these thoughts. Of course finances are the big driver in my fears, but I think not getting into that master's program last year really tore a titanic sized hole in my reslove.
Going back to working a full time job, and trying to do little tidbits to pull the pieces together for a possibility of "maybe" an acceptance is ruff. And seeing SOOOO many people have to result to an alternative, and working with Docs, who say Dont Do it... Wow...
Applications are open. And as I put in my grades from 20 years ago, and think of how people will be using them to judge me, no matter how hard I have put in work recently. Its just scary and stress full.
When I go and look at apartments that are in my budget and it takes me back to my childhood when things were really tough for my mom. Its scary and stressful.
I am ready for something good and awesome. I am ready for something that builds me up. I am ready for something that is an uplifting tangible step toward success.
I am on my very last piece of resolve. The absolute last piece. What does that mean? Where am I going? What am I doing? What am I supposed to do? What am I doing to my kid? What am I doing to myself? How are my choices altering my future? Where is my joy? Have I ever had it? Will I know what it looks/feel like when it happens? Will one choice or the other actually bring me the happiness/fulfillment that I think is actually out there. Is happiness/fulfillment/success something that is even attainable for me?
I DO NOT know and not knowing IS killing me.
Saturday, April 18, 2015
Monday Morning Quarterback
So Friday was my MCAT...
I am so astoundingly happy that it is over. I think I turned into a different person when I walked out of that building.
I wish I could say that I rocked the crap out of that test. However that would be a total lie.
The first section kicked my butt. I think midway through I just felt like I was picking answers at random.
The second section Verbal or whatever that is called now. I felt really good about. I felt like I followed the passages well and picked the answer that seem to be most relevent.
Third Section Bio stuff was not nearly as bad as the first section, but I did not feel as confident in all of my responses as I did in section two.
Forth section Psychology/sociology was not as good as the 3rd, but not as bad as the first. I did not spend as much time going through all the psychology info. There was just so much and I just didn't have the time. Actually I did not make the time. But what I did go through really helped.
Overall I should have spent more time on chemistry structures and formulas. But I think I I fell into the trap of focusing on what I was grasping instead of breaking down what was giving me problems.
I think I signed some kind of agreement that I would not say what was on the test since it was the first adminstration or something to that fact.
But I think I can say that Khan Academy MCAT link that I posted before was very accurate and a good representation of what was on the test.
On a few other notes..
It looks like my St. George app can still be processed without my Passport for now.
Also we are at dance competition this weekend and my Baby Girl Killed it!!! It was the best I have seen her do her solo sofar.
Platinum
6th Overall
Summer Intensive Scholarship Winner
and Judges Choice Choreography Award
super proud of her, even though she drives me frickin Cray Cray... We still have the rest of the weekend left and I have A&P homework and study to do. But I still feel 20x more free than I did 48 hours ago.
Well that's plenty for today. I should probably finish up my vacation from critical thinking and get to this A&P I have an A to maintain. :)
I am so astoundingly happy that it is over. I think I turned into a different person when I walked out of that building.
I wish I could say that I rocked the crap out of that test. However that would be a total lie.
The first section kicked my butt. I think midway through I just felt like I was picking answers at random.
The second section Verbal or whatever that is called now. I felt really good about. I felt like I followed the passages well and picked the answer that seem to be most relevent.
Third Section Bio stuff was not nearly as bad as the first section, but I did not feel as confident in all of my responses as I did in section two.
Forth section Psychology/sociology was not as good as the 3rd, but not as bad as the first. I did not spend as much time going through all the psychology info. There was just so much and I just didn't have the time. Actually I did not make the time. But what I did go through really helped.
Overall I should have spent more time on chemistry structures and formulas. But I think I I fell into the trap of focusing on what I was grasping instead of breaking down what was giving me problems.
I think I signed some kind of agreement that I would not say what was on the test since it was the first adminstration or something to that fact.
But I think I can say that Khan Academy MCAT link that I posted before was very accurate and a good representation of what was on the test.
On a few other notes..
It looks like my St. George app can still be processed without my Passport for now.
Also we are at dance competition this weekend and my Baby Girl Killed it!!! It was the best I have seen her do her solo sofar.
Platinum
6th Overall
Summer Intensive Scholarship Winner
and Judges Choice Choreography Award
super proud of her, even though she drives me frickin Cray Cray... We still have the rest of the weekend left and I have A&P homework and study to do. But I still feel 20x more free than I did 48 hours ago.
Well that's plenty for today. I should probably finish up my vacation from critical thinking and get to this A&P I have an A to maintain. :)
Monday, April 13, 2015
It's been a while.
So it's be a bit since I posted.
For a few reasons but mostly because I did not really have any good/exciting/progressive news to report. However the point of this blog is to document my journey and of course that includes the good and the bad, unfortunately the bad seems to outweigh the good these days.
Anywho... Updates.
School.
This is pretty standard. Still in A&P so far still maintaining about a 96 average. I got a random email from the grad student I was working with and he ask if I would do a couple things for the research paper. I had assumed they have finished up and moved on. So I got that done.
Work.
It's ok. Scribing tends to get redundant. The relationships are better
The Plan
- so I got my St George application basically complete I just can't find my passport, which is required as part of my application. And speaking of Passports I will need to get one from my daughter if I go the Carb route, but it's extremely complicated to get one without both parents present. So that's an additional pile of poop to deal with.
- MCAT
So that's in like 3 days. And I have not really done much in the way of preparing. It's just sad. That has me thinking maybe it's best to go away to go to school. I won't have the outside conflicts that I have now. I just think trying to work all these jobs for peanuts and trying to keep Jordyn active and do my part at her school is just really not working out so well. But what can you do.
Not much else has gone toward the plan I will consider GRE planning after I finish with MCAT on Friday. I will look at A&P 2 schedule also after Friday.
Was thinking about just skipping GRE and only applying to schools that don't require it, but I will end up limiting myself.
Life.
This is still pretty stressful. Still at my moms. Everyone is ready for that situation to change. My mom and daughter are not getting along and unfortunately I don't know how to fix it.
This is one of the big stressors and one of those things that make you say the best/only way to fix it is to just hold off on the original end goal for right now.
So overall not a lot of forward movement. I will just keep slowly rolling along until something happens one way or the other.
I did pray and ask for some clarity some direction. Unfortunately there may be some radio silence on one end or the other. Unless this feeling of just wanting to say "screw it" is the "direction" I am supposed to be moving in. To be honest if I got a call tomorrow for a job out of state that paid well I would probably take it. Just kind of start all over. And maybe that's my sign.
Friday, March 13, 2015
Blank Stare
So I submitted an application to St. George University ( Caribian Medical School) a couple of nights ago. I am not 100% sure I am going have my transcripts and MCAT sent. I have signed up for an information session in April.
It is one of the Big 3 Carb schools. Its also the most expensive. But they have accreditation in California and New York, meaning I can do rotations and residencies in more states than a school that does not have the accreditation.
The biggest concern with the international school is what I am going to do with my Kid. If I did not have that concern, I don't think I would have any problem heading out there in august to make all this come together and get it done.
I honestly do not know that I can get through another year of this inbetween state.
another random conversation.
Last night I go to dinner with a friend. See one of my old HR Leads from my previous career, and she is like send me your resume we have a lot of opportunities. My friend is like. That is a sign !
And of course my mind goes crazy. Like is it? Should I? Can I make it work? I immediately go into I get the job, move into a small place, clean up my budgets, pay of debt, and be in a nice house by the time Jordyn gets ready for High School, I can pay for her car, have resources to get through the high school years, and then send her off to college, take some vacations, and ride out the rest of life. (same internal struggle I have with myself every 6 months)
THEN...
today I go to the library after I drop J off at a friends (super cute house), and I am giving her like 20$ for snack or food after the movie, and like give me back what you don't spend. And the friends mom is going to have to drop her off at home later, because I have to do a baby sitting job to make some extra money... And on the way out of the historic neighborhood (which I love) I see a house for sale, that is a bit smaller than the others, but something I could have totally made super awesome if I would have stayed where I was 2 years ago.
---- don't get me wrong, I know this is all superficial things and it does not matter what everyone has, and if I wanted to be a Dr bad enough I need to sacrifice. ALL this stuff that I know, but does not make things easier. ---
But I digress.... My point. I stopped by the library after I drop Jordyn off to finish up some A&P work.
And I come to this library that I have never been before, just the closest Google showed from J's friends house.
I sit down and start working, and an older gentleman comes and ask if he could sit at the table. And of course I say yes.
He then proceeds to have a 20 minute conversation with me.
He is a former doctor, who is from Peru and went to undergard in the states, but could not get into a medical school here at the time and ended up doing a school in Mexico. He was telling me all things are possible, if you really want them. And I could be a Dr. And how life success is more about what you say "no"to, just as much as what you say "yes" to.
He was like you just need a mentor and someone to help.
I do not know if that means anything. As I have stated before things just work out crazy for me.
One thing will happen that makes me think I should move one way and then something else will happen that makes me think I should move another way.
Its draining. I wish I could just move to a different place and just focus on making it work.
well... I just felt like jotting down these crazy things that run through my head.
Library closes in 30 mins. I really need to get this HW finished.
It is one of the Big 3 Carb schools. Its also the most expensive. But they have accreditation in California and New York, meaning I can do rotations and residencies in more states than a school that does not have the accreditation.
The biggest concern with the international school is what I am going to do with my Kid. If I did not have that concern, I don't think I would have any problem heading out there in august to make all this come together and get it done.
I honestly do not know that I can get through another year of this inbetween state.
another random conversation.
Last night I go to dinner with a friend. See one of my old HR Leads from my previous career, and she is like send me your resume we have a lot of opportunities. My friend is like. That is a sign !
And of course my mind goes crazy. Like is it? Should I? Can I make it work? I immediately go into I get the job, move into a small place, clean up my budgets, pay of debt, and be in a nice house by the time Jordyn gets ready for High School, I can pay for her car, have resources to get through the high school years, and then send her off to college, take some vacations, and ride out the rest of life. (same internal struggle I have with myself every 6 months)
THEN...
today I go to the library after I drop J off at a friends (super cute house), and I am giving her like 20$ for snack or food after the movie, and like give me back what you don't spend. And the friends mom is going to have to drop her off at home later, because I have to do a baby sitting job to make some extra money... And on the way out of the historic neighborhood (which I love) I see a house for sale, that is a bit smaller than the others, but something I could have totally made super awesome if I would have stayed where I was 2 years ago.
---- don't get me wrong, I know this is all superficial things and it does not matter what everyone has, and if I wanted to be a Dr bad enough I need to sacrifice. ALL this stuff that I know, but does not make things easier. ---
But I digress.... My point. I stopped by the library after I drop Jordyn off to finish up some A&P work.
And I come to this library that I have never been before, just the closest Google showed from J's friends house.
I sit down and start working, and an older gentleman comes and ask if he could sit at the table. And of course I say yes.
He then proceeds to have a 20 minute conversation with me.
He is a former doctor, who is from Peru and went to undergard in the states, but could not get into a medical school here at the time and ended up doing a school in Mexico. He was telling me all things are possible, if you really want them. And I could be a Dr. And how life success is more about what you say "no"to, just as much as what you say "yes" to.
He was like you just need a mentor and someone to help.
I do not know if that means anything. As I have stated before things just work out crazy for me.
One thing will happen that makes me think I should move one way and then something else will happen that makes me think I should move another way.
Its draining. I wish I could just move to a different place and just focus on making it work.
well... I just felt like jotting down these crazy things that run through my head.
Library closes in 30 mins. I really need to get this HW finished.
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