What's the Haps

So its been a while, (I think).  I failed to look at the date of my last post, but don't remember writing anything recently.

anywho...

school.
its moving along... Finals are around the corner.  I think I am going to be able to get at least 2 A's.  and I am working hard to keep the others at B at a minimum.  I would have to make really high A's on the final's to go any higher.

I think my schedule for the Spring is Set.  I talked to my genomics professor today and it looks like I might get to work in his lab in the spring.  I will also be working as a TA for the 1441 Cell Biology Class. I don't know what labs I will have for them.  I requested the Tue/Thur night lab.

My proposed schedule.

Tuesday
Plant Science Lecture 11-12:20
Principals of Animal Physiology Lecture 12:30 - 150
Principals of Animal Physiology Lab 2-4:50
Cell and Molecular Biology Lab TA 7-850pm

Thru
Plant Science Lecture 11-12:20
Principals of Animal Physiology Lecture 12:30 - 150
Plant Science Laboratory 2:450
Cell and Molecular Biology Lab TA 7-850pm

I am hoping to the throw my Genomic Research lab work in 8 - 10 on Tue/Thr and Friday when I have to be on campus for the Cell and Molecular Biology TA meeting.

Work
---- still nothing here---
I have applied for a couple other jobs, but not many
I am kind of torn.. I know I need a job soon, but I would like to have the Christmas break free to hit my MCAT study hard and just try to get something afterward.
Also next years schedule will open up more options for me, since I may potentially have 2 days of the week where I am available during the day.

There are quite a few retail places that are hiring for the holidays, but I HATE retail, that and food service was the main reason I went to college they were the worst possible jobs for me. People can be a-holes..

The plan
I am a tad bit off track with graduation. 
I don't think I will be able to do it in the spring, because I did not get in my calculus. Still might try to test out of them, but I have to have find time to study.  Maybe after I get the MCAT out of the way.

the MCAT... so I signed up for the January test. I have my last prep class next Wednesday. But I kind of screwed myself on that. I had no time to get in the work required outside of class.  So I am going to have to do independent study when I am out for winter brea.    I will still have access to the materials and onDemand courses.  I can also sign up to retake a summer intensive, but I don't know that it will really provide me anything that I can not do on my own. 

I have to admit every now and again  I think about trying to look into something else like research going for PhD instead of MD/DO.  But I don't think I will.  for a couple reason

1.  The McNair scholarship that helps pay for Masters and PhD that really got me considering the option does not allow you to already have a degree, so my BS disqualifies me.

2. I wont get to work at a clinic or practice medicine.  I don't know that I like research enough to give that up.   One of my major things was going to be able to provide patient care.

3.  I think I would feel like a total failure.  and I would have a hard time facing all those that helped me to attempt to reach my goal to be come a doctor and then not do it.

4. Without a scholarship I could not afford to not work for 2+ more years while getting a MS.  I know I wont be working as a medical student but the loans account for that, and I can still work for a special program that has loan repayment plans for service. 

I think I will just enjoy my time working in the genomic lab in the spring and table those thoughts.  
I also feel once I get this horrible MCAT out of the way I will get my confidence back.   This test is stressing me out.  I really wish I would have taken one of those prep classes right after I finished my pre-reqs and working full time.  I had so much more free time.  Oh well. It is what it is, I have to work from where I am not and move forward

My rugrat
she is driving me cray cray... we had a stint of where she was not getting her homework turned in.  So we have been working through that, and I am hoping its not going to continue to be an issue.  Her dancing never ceases to amaze me, she just seems to be getting better and better.

Life
once again, not much here... still seeing the trainer, but also still not 100% on all the work I should be doing on my own.

I guess that's about it...  basically a lot of the same... :)

Progress

Just thought I would document my progress...


School..

So my plan to improve my study habits helped some, I did do better on my last two test, but only one of them was an A, however the other was 20 points above the class average so that was not too horrible.  I have 2 more test, a project, and a few more homework assignments I may be able to still pull an A in that class.

Work..
still nothing here, still applying

The plan
Kind of wasting my money on that MCAT class, still not keeping up with the reading, pre-work, and post work.  I take my first full length practice test this weekend sometime.  I am going to try and just get as much as I can in, and then after finals hit it full-time ( 8 hrs a day) while out for the winter session.


Life..
Still working with the trainer, but once again kind of wasting my money because I am not eating right.   I don't pack enough food and snacks for days I am away from home all day.  I am also taking in too many simple carbohydrates.  I am also supposed to get in at least 2 days of cardio on the days I am not meeting with the trainer, and I have been very inconsistent with that.   And even thought I kind of hate it when I am in my sessions, I am that I went when its finally over.  I actually kind of miss it when I go a couple of days without it.


My rug rat
She is driving me crazy.  Running into the same problems as always being to social during class and inconsistent grades.  I am so tired of saying the same thing over and over.  She has had all electronic taken from her for at least 2 weeks.  So frustrating.  I know some of it is simple growing pains.  I told her tonight.. I could be more forgiving, if you had straight A's and some times talked in class, or had great behavior and every now and again had a bad assignment grade.  But you cant do BOTH.  She is smart and she has seen most of this material in her previous school.  So I know I am not asking to much of her.   Also its not like she is beating up kids or cursing out teachers so I don't want to be over dramatic.   Being a parent is ruff, especially if you want to try and do a good job... 


She has a dance convention this weekend Fri-Sun so we are going to be away from home all weekend, and I have to find a way to get my Micro lab report done, study for a test, and get a full length practice test in.

so basically I got a lot of the same going on, I am bit concerned I am trying to do everything, but not doing either of them well.
I just have to continue to re-focus myself and push for more self efficacy in my eating and study habits.

I have not given up yet, and I recognize my short-comings and try to address what I can. 
That has to count for something.

well I gotta try and get a few hours sleep before its time to get up in 5 hours for the gym... 

Registered

So I registered for the MCAT today... I will be taking it exactly 3 months from today.   I wish I could say I was ready, but I am not.  I still have not gotten on top of this MCAT class.  I am planning to keep trying to get ahead, and then hitting it super hard after finals.

I gotta get to bed, so I can make it to my 5am training session in the morning..

Progress... Kind of

So I don't really feel like putting in the effort to make this a clean organized post.  

I have like 10 mins before I head to class.   

I am just going list off stuff

So been off work for about 2 weeks now, appreciate the amount of time I have to get stuff done, but I know it's going to kick my butt pretty soon because I have no income.   I have continued to apply to others but have had no hits.  Which is a bit frustrating.  It's not like I am applying to experienced professional jobs.  Any who I digress

I have stepped up my study game, but still have more work to do.  The amount of work to get from B grades to A grades is an exponential curve.  I have to work on finding the right balance.  I end up studying 5-8 hours a day and then after a few days I end up avoiding anything school related for the next 24 hours and then I feel guilty.  It's like I have studying bulimia.  But I did make a better grade on my health Psyc test 2.  

I am still getting eaten alive by my MCAT class, I don't think I am going to be able to take the Januarry test.  I may have to push it to February, even though I am not going to have a lot if time to study, but I may only take 2 science classes and TA for one.  Don't know the plan yet. 

I have also improved my work out regularity.  I see a trainer 2x a week and work out on my own for 3 days(try really hard to hit this).   I went ahead and made the investment for the trainer because I have been unsuccessful in true transformation for so long.   Also like studying enough to go from B to A is hard, so is true lifestyle and body transformation.    You don't see the physical results with regular exercise and eating right very fast like you see with some crazy diet and/or pharmacology treatment.  It takes time, but of corse it's better for you, has increased adherence and leads to a true lifestyle change.  

My child still drives me crazy.   For example she tells me yesterday morning she has to be at school auditorium at 6:30 for her theatre show.  Seriously you have known for weeks and the first time I hear about it is the day of the event.  She actually told her dance studio director, but failed to tell me.    It's so frustrating being a parent, and I think doing it alone doesn't really help the situation.  But it is what it is. 

On a more positive note she did a great job in her show , and the little bit of her dances I have seen look amazing.   She is a talented kid.  I am blessed to have her. 

Well off to class.  On a side note they have commuter breakfast out this morning.  I will walk by and not make eye contact.  :-P

U Betta Work B!$@#

So while on my way from getting in my 35 min of cardio for the day, Ms Brittney comes on iTunes Radio (which I love) with her new song You Betta Work B.....!  

And I have decided that sometimes u need to hear that.  

I was a bit stressed out that my last two test were very lack luster even though they were above the class average.    My MCAT class is already kicking my butt, and I canceled my visit with my personal trainer yesterday. 

And for a short bit of time I started to feel like maybe I couldn't do it.  

Maybe I'm not smart enough.  

Maybe I will always be a chunky monkey. 

 I had at least two draft blog post started on the subject but couldn't put down my words.   

Now I know why.   Because I am just seeing it now. 

If I want to be an amazing physician who loves her jobs and her patients, and smiles even wider twice a week because it's my weekly community clinic visit...

If I want to feel better about myself physically and mentally.  Shop anywhere I want and have more confidence...

Then I better work B.....!

I better put the hours in for ALL classes

I better study for test weeks in advance

I better do my MCAT pre & post work

I better choose the better choices for snack dinner breakfast and lunch

I better get in my daily exercise 

I better push through the pain and fatigue when working with my trainer.  

If this stuff was easy then everyone would be doing.  

I refuse to give up because it's hard.  

I will kick life's A$$!!!!   

Drops mic and exits stage left.