Saturday, February 14, 2015

I'm trying...

So as I sit in the hotel room
- listening to YouTube cover videos
- watching dance competition online
- responding to random post on Facebook
- and wondering why I have never been in a relationship on Valentine's day


I am also studying...  My intent was to spend all available time in my room study while my baby girl was in class.

I did get my next two homework assignments done.

I origionally planned to just go through the topis in the 2015 MCAT Essential topics list.  But as I started doing that today I just started getting overwhelmed.  Then I was like I will start with the Psych and Biochem topics since I have not studied for them for the MCAT before.  But as I start looking up different topics online it just felt very inefficient.  

I am the worst at large ambiguous task.  I need detail, structure, and short term goals. 

So I went back to Khan Acadmey and I found this link videos with MCAT 2015 topics.  I don't think its exhaustive of all the topics but its a good amount.    I think I am just going to go through once and then just start taking practice test.  Trying to go through each individual item is just stressing me out...

Khan Academy MCAT Video Line Up

For a small amount of time today I thought about looking up refund deadlines for the MCAT. 
But that way lies madness....

Its ok.  Its going to be ok. I can do this.


side note....  I wanted to post a few pics of my kid.  This is why I do it.  This is why I spend time and money that for the average person could be used in other places.  But when I see her doing what she loves and doing it well. I would not have it any other way.





Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Last Chance

So I just registered for the April 17th MCAT.

This is the last time I spend any more money on this test.

I have to get my Stuff together and soon.

I am contemplating giving up my evening job.

2 months to get my scores up with a job and class does not leave much time.

I have to find the best way to squeeze the most out of my weekends.

THIS will work...

Study Plan Rebot coming...

#teammedschool


Sunday, February 8, 2015

Time managment fail.

So I basically threw away the entire weekend.

After my post yesterday at the library, I spent a little more time researching Caribbean school students/graduates etc..

I came across one blog of a guy who actually failed out of Ross after repeating his first semester and failing his second.

It was a bit scary, so I went back to when he started and read all his post to see if I could get an idea of what happened.

My two biggest fears about going to a Caribean school are

1. I am actually not smart enough to be a doctor and I fail out with more loan debt to add to my already stressful amount.

2. I do pretty decent and pass, but cant get a decent residency (or any residency at all) when I graduate, once again leaving me with a shitload of debt.


Those things are a possibility in US schools but the occurrences are way lower.  

So back to the guy that failed out of Ross. I can not really point out his problem.  He seemed to "study" alot. But it does not seem that he had study groups or used much tacticle learning.   I appears he skipped lecture often and just studied written material at home and watched some lectures on line.

Those things would definitely be a big problem for me.  I need to go to class and listen and hear the parts of the lecture that are not written in the power point.  They help me think beyond the black and white details.

I have also found I do a lot better with material recall if i am part of a study group.   But everyone one learns differently. 


So between my frustration with the MCAT, my mild obsession with finding out all I can about international options, and Ch 3 of AP being info I have read before I got no studying done.

One detail I did seem to notice from that guy's blog who went to Ross is that first semester of med school did have a lot of biochem, ochem, genetics, and bio stuff that is needed for the MCAT, so maybe I can use that as a motivation to find a way to get that test done.

On a non-med school note,  I dont feel well today.  I think I have a URI in conjunction with lady pains...   I dont get to go the gym in the morning, because my membership expired, so I am going to be out for about 2 weeks until next payday.  I really hope I don't get all cray cray..

I should probably dope up on Sinus and Cold meds and go to sleep.  Back to the bi-polar work place tomorrow, followed by a full day of class then lab... 

Saturday, February 7, 2015

The strugle is real


I am here at the library, partially mid job.

My Sunday boss's mother is in town and in lieu of my normal shift she asked if I could take her mom to get her hair done.  The pay is not my normal but its better than nothing. Plus I was going to the library anyway, and I found one about 10 mins from the salon so all in all its not the worst.

Anywhoo... the point of the above comment is I am here at the library with the intent of MCAT study.   Lets say that mission has been aborted and no progress has been made.   I got a letter last night from University of Medicine and Health Science (UMHS) which is a Caribbean school in St. Kitts.

I have spoken of my apprehension in regards to international medical education in the past, but stressing over this freaking test I just decided to Google some info on the school.

They actually have an amazing facility with some great technology and anatomy facility.Their 2014 Residency placement had mostly family medicine but there were a couple of others.

I have a lot of thoughts I want to get out, but I don't want to write a book, lol.
so I am just going to put random statements....

- its kind of disheartening how hard it is to get a medical degree in the US.
- A person can work hard and be pretty competent and still fail.

- wish they had a system in place to where if you got good grades in pre-reqs you could get some type of pre-acceptance or conditional acceptance into a program, and you had to maintain a certain level of performance in the first and/or second semester, then you be granted full access into the program.

- yes I know its hard, yes I know they want capable people, etc...   but the amount of competent and willing people that are turned away from the profession yearly just seems...

- And this whole thing with a YEAR application process is the Freakin Worst...

- And then for those that circumvent the sharty process and go to international schools that are willing to give them an opportunity. They work hard to make grades above the average US educated just for a shot at a limited number opportunities is just tragic...

- yes I now there are some schools that are just taking money, or not sufficiently educating, and some people are missing skill set ... etc...   but if a person has maintained good grades, passed the same examinations, and can prove themselves in clinical setting then you assume they can provide the same level of care...

- I sometimes think maybe the American system is designed that way on purpose...  But I tell you every time I read an article about "Doctor shortages" etc... I am like I cant tell...

- I guess I am just tired and a bit frustrated with my situation right now.

- on a semi-related note.  My AP grades are going good so far,
HW 1 - 100
HW 2 - 95 ( not sure what i missed yet, but pretty upset I let something slip)
Test 1 - 98

this is kind of one of those things that drive me crazy about that dang test.  I know I am not stupid, I made mostly A's in my pre-reqs.  But for some reason I continue to let that thing weigh me down...

Argh!!!!

(side note:  hormones, $$, and Sam Smith Pandora station may be falsely elevating the "devastation factor" on this post.. ) LOL. 

It will work out... Something will work out... Just not sure what yet...

Interesting AAMC video on residency spots.... http://vimeo.com/77727683